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Why I Still Rent (and why you might too)

Certified Mortgage Advisor
NMLS 1701021
December 8, 2020

Loan Officer and also a Renter

I'm a loan officer and I still RENT! I used to feel so bad about it, especially because there's so much shame around the renting versus buying conversation, especially to be somebody who is a loan officer, I help people get mortgages and get into a home. So for the longest time, I felt like a fraud, I still rent, and I'm helping people get into a home.

I'm telling them about the value of homeownership, and I started digging into it and there's just so much shame around the way that we talk about renting versus buying. We hear so many people say like renting is throwing money away but really sometimes it's the best or it's the only option that we might have available to us.

So for so long, I was afraid of people realizing or wondering does he rent, does he actually own a home? And people figuring that out and thinking that I'm a fraud, but I really want to share with you that I'm in this with you. I'm also renting and it's not by choice, and so I want to explain a little bit about that.

Are you being left out?

So I get that you don't want to rent forever, but in the short term, it really can be a solid option. And at the same time, I also feel like you might feel like you're alone because you see people posting pictures online of them moving into a new home and it's disappointing and all this life change is going on the whole time.

You're thinking when you're seeing everybody else do the thing that you want to do, you're thinking, what did I do wrong? How did they get that thing that I've been working so hard for? But it's been so out of reach for me?


So this is why I still rent. So I've been a loan officer for about two and a half, three years now. So when I first started to assert as a loan officer with a hundred percent commission. So if you've been following the channel for a little bit, 100% means that you have to wait two years so that the lender can average your past two years' income and use it to qualify for a mortgage. First two years, as a loan officer, I didn't qualify for a mortgage because you can't use less than two years of that commission income.

So in January 2020 is when I first started looking to see, all right, great. I want to buy a house. I have the two years I'm able to let's go ahead and start looking for homes. So even then, January 2020 inventory was super low and all the homes in my area needed quite a bit of work. And I know from experience that I'm not the type of person who wants a first home with work, maybe in the future. And of course, like small things are perfectly fine, I can go look up on YouTube and check how to fix some plumbing things, but I'm talking like big, substantial work that it just wasn't interested in.

So everything around just felt like it was more than I was wanting to spend for the work that was needed to be done. And inventory was low and even these homes were competing with tons of offers, new fast-forward into our market today, and that's just accelerated even more. So it's become even worst.

W2 commission to 1099

But in the beginning, in January, I held off actually on buying and I was thinking maybe things will take a turn around and of course, that didn't happen. So then in June of 2020, I became self-employed. So I switched from being a W2 commission to 1099. So again, if you follow my YouTube channel, Win The House You Love that starts the whole clock all over again. So an additional two years.

So I had this very short period of time when I was actually able to qualify for a mortgage and then I became self-employed. So now I need to wait another two years to be able to qualify him for a mortgage. And so I think it's just helpful to realize I'm also with you, I can't qualify for a mortgage right now, and I'm a loan officer.

We don't need to feel shame when renting

So initially again, I felt some shame around that of thinking, man, I don't want people to know about this, cause that feels wrong. But then I started realizing I think this is actually helpful to share it because so many people are in this place where they can't qualify for a home.

Misconception about renting

And I think that our rent versus buying conversation that we hear often includes a lot of shame. It almost includes the assumption that you're renting by choice and somebody trying to convince you to stop renting. When a lot of the time you're renting, probably because you have to. There are things that are happening in your life that are preventing you from buying a home. I just want you to know that's perfectly okay. So we can end the story here.

Frustrations while waiting

My big frustration is obviously like how that gap of time when I could have bought a home. But even then, I don't think it would have been right for me to purchase at that moment. Just based on what I saw. I knew it was going to be a lot of work. The houses that I was looking at had foundational issues and there just wasn't a lot available that I was interested in.

Especially as a single person, it's difficult to find something that's exactly within what you're looking for, because I don't want to go buy a three-bedroom house. I definitely don't need three bedrooms as a single guy. That was frustration there as well.

Expensive rent than having a monthly mortgage

Then also the frustration that I have with renting right now is I pay more in rent monthly than if I would have bought a home, not to mention, the rent doesn't store up any sort of equity or appreciation, like Homewood as well. And I would also love to have I'd love to have a yard, have bonfires and have the ability to have friends over and grill out and things like that.

Accept the fact that you can't do anything right now but wait

So I'm in this place where I'm recognizing like, you know what, there's really nothing I can do, and I'm going to have to be renting for at this point, at least another a year or two, to be able to get that full two years of self-employment to be able to qualify for a mortgage.

So I think a lot of people are in that space and you might be in that space too, if you don't, I can't qualify for a mortgage right now. And I don't want you to feel shamed by renting. Sometimes you just have to take the frustration and rested it and be like, you know what? This is frustrating, I really wish I qualify for a mortgage, but these things happened and I can't right now.

Find your happiness

So instead I'm going to say, how can I still find joy and happiness in what I'm doing right now? Not be shamed by the buyer versus renting because for you right now, it's probably not necessarily like a choice you're not just saying no, but I want to rent.

Know where you want to be

So ask yourself the question, why are you renting? Is that something that is an option or is it a necessity at this point? That's something that you have to do. And look, I know that you don't want to be. Long-term and honestly, you're probably like really over this whole humbling thing. You're probably tired of mortgages. You're tired of the, how do I qualify? Do not qualify. You're tired of the stress of figuring out what's next and what's going on in the market and staying up to date on all these changes. It's just so exhausting.

Validating where you're at

So what I want you to do is validate where you're at. So you can be at peace with it. The moment that you can start to recognize and label and validate these feelings and the events that are happening in your life. I think you can be more at peace.

Keep calm and move along

It's the same thing with me, I was wrestling through this idea of shame and I don't want other people to figure out, and I wish I could be in this other spot. I know that renting isn't where I want to be long-term. And so instead of just letting that continue to just grow into this awful spiral of emotions, The better thing to do is just to say, this is the frustration. This is, and then this is the game plan that I have to get out of it. That way you can start making peace with it. And you know what? Yep. It's just the thing for the next couple of years that I'm going to have to roll with until these things change to the point where I can now qualify for home and then move into it.

Think of you, not what they think about you

Don't feel the pressure of buying just because of what you think other people will think of you or what they think you should be doing. Cause I felt bad because I help people get mortgages, but I can't even qualify for a mortgage to myself at the moment. So validating, helps you release that tension.

Why do we rent?

And it asked you all, why do you rent? And 49% of you said, I don't have the budget at the moment. Some said the housing market went crazy. Others said I don't want to have to worry about the maintenance of a house. David said, the market's too intense to find a home. Janae said I'm not in the area long enough to justify owning a home. Someone said, there's not enough inventory to be able to purchase a home and not to mention all of the other people who commented and said why they're renting all for just wonderfully legitimate reasons of why to rent.

Decide with your experience and not what others say

See, the external voices don't matter. Your guide, the steps that you follow is going to be based on the experience that you have, and what's best for you moving forward.

Renting has its pros

It's not all this bad thing that we're trying to get out of. On the pro side, rinsing can be good because you have lower maintenance costs. It's better for short-term living or unknown situations. It can help you weather a market downturn. It can help you whether like a limited supply of cash on hand there's flexibility moving, and then on the other.

Renting cons

You do have the loss of equity and appreciation growth at home could have you have less freedom in the choices that you have, right? Maybe you need a, you want a pet and you can't have it where you rent. Also, usually renting is higher monthly costs, than a mortgage payment. And so ultimately I just want you to know I'm right there with you, right?

Rent & focus to your goal

There's no shame in renting, whatever the reason is. Ultimately I want your focus to not be, how do I qualify for a mortgage? What can I do to make renting not a long-term game plan, because none of us for the most part wants to be renting for a super long time, but there are things or obstacles in the way?

Shake it off and plan for the future

So instead of just becoming frustrated and jaded, what we can do is we can invalidate the feeling, say, you know what? This is, what's keeping me from it and I'm going to create a game plan so that in two years, three years, five years, whatever that looks like for you, you can qualify and get into a home that you love and then be done with this frustration shame cycle that keeps spiraling over and over again.

Patience is sometimes bitter, but its fruit is sweet!

Let's just make it a goal to not be renting long-term not a goal that you have to feel shame that you're not in the buying position. Patience is key as you move forward with this. I'm right there with you. I don't want you to feel shame about where you're at. Come up with a game plan. That way you can move in a direction that works for you and your family and the future.

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Kyle Andrew Seagraves is Federal Mortgage Loan Originator (NMLS 1701021) licensed in all 50 states with the Dan Frio Team at Allied First Bank (NMLS 203463), an Equal Housing Lender. Separately, Kyle owns Win The House You Love LLC, an education company. Win The House You Love LLC is not a lender, does not issue loan qualifications, and does not extend credit of any kind. This website is only for educational usage. All calculations should be verified independently. This website is not an offer to lend and should not directly be used to make decisions on home offers, purchasing decisions, nor loan selections. Not guaranteed to provide accurate results, imply lending terms, qualification amounts, nor real estate advice. Seek counsel from a licensed real estate agent, loan originator, financial planner, accountant, and/or attorney for real estate, legal, and/or financial advice.

Allied First Bank is not affiliated with the VA, FHA or any other government agency. This site has not been approved by any government agency.
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